The fine art of cow tipping I was lying awake in bed again last night, thinking about various things, when I settled on cow tipping. Cow tipping, for those who don't know, is the fabled activity of sneaking up on a sleeping cow and, as the name implies, tipping it over. I can just imagine the goings on for someone to have invented this story. Probably a couple of farm boys trying to make their city-bred cousin look like a fool. First off, cows are big animals. Bigger than they look from the highway at 120 km/h. You'd either need a huge running start or a whole team of people shoving at once. Neither of those options is conducive to sneaking, and you definitely don't want to startle the cow. Second, if you did manage it, you'd probably hurt the cow pretty badly, since they're bred to be really quite heavy. Third, and most important, cows sleep lying down. I know, I've seen it done. Still, it's a fun game to talk about going cow tipping. You can use it as a code phrase. "No mom, we're just going out cow tipping, see you later!" (Replace cow tipping with driving to the gravel pit to drink beer, spin our cars in circles, and generally be teenage boys in the country.) It's even more fun to talk to your non-Alberta friends about it like it's a real activity. Because, really, the concept is pretty funny and it makes a great story for the tourists to take home..."Guess what they do for fun in Alberta Grandma!" I once knew a girl who'd just moved here from Newfoundland. I was driving her somewhere and she kept talking about how excited she was to go cow tipping and did I know what time was best and would I take her? I tried my hardest to keep the story alive, but I eventully had to tell her why I couldn't take her out to push some cows on to their sides. She was...not heart broken, but definitely sad to have that dream destroyed. Yep, we don't need no television out here. We gonna tip us some cows! |