A plan never survives the first encounter with the enemy It's been an eventful few days. I need to organize my thoughts so bear with me. 1. I volunteered at the Folk Festival over the weekend. The music was fabulous, as was the free food, I had loads of fun, but it completely exhausted me. I think I've recovered, but it took two days. Still, I'll definitely do it next year, volunteering makes me feel good, and it's really the only possible way I could afford to attend every day. Not sure I'd do plate recycling again, but it's possible. The coordinator was awesome and I might do it again just for him. He's quite passionate and all gung-ho to recycle or reuse everthing that might be thrown out. Who knows, in five years they might not be throwing anything out except necessary plastics. 2. We put our kitty down yesterday. She was really old and had isolated herself from us. She wasn't eating or really drinking anymore and I think her life probably really sucked over all. It seemed cruel to keep her around because we wanted her there. If she'd been wild she wouldn't have lived even this long. Still, it still hurts to know that she'll never come back. While I am sad, mostly I feel not relief exactly, but something like it. I'm glad that we didn't make her hang on once we could see she was getting worse. When I was 17, our dog got really sick and we just cared for him the best we could until he died on his own. That was really awful. When a pet is sick, they aren't like a person who understands what is happening and that sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better. Especially if your pet is old, you really have to weigh the extra pain of the treatment against just ending the pain altogether. *sigh*, but it still hurts. 3. Yesterday I found out that the woman heading the field project I was supposed to help with in two weeks had decided she didn't really need me. They told me here that if I really wanted to go, I could, but how appealing is that? To go knowing they don't really need my help is just asking to be bored, or given housekeeping chores. Plus, I was starting to panic a little when I thought about how much time I had left here and how much I had to pack. So, I'm staying home. But it sucks, because I really was looking forward to going. It's never fun to hear that you aren't really needed after all either. So, that's total exhaustion followed by a major and a minor life upheaval. I'm feeling a bit emotionally drained at the moment. I think some time actually organizing myself a little will help, that's what I plan to do over the long weekend. If I can feel a little bit more prepared to move in September, I think I'll feel a little more settled with myself. Here's hoping! |